The 86 Rules of Drinking

#37. Try one new drink each week.

#8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

#25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

#32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

#3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

#53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

#74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

#85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.