Friday, June 12, 2009

The 86 Rules of Drinking

#1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

#56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

#67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

#43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

#36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.

#33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

#27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

#81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.

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